this wasn’t a quick progression of self sabotage
it was a slow manifestation of self hatred

we didn’t wake up one day and decide we hated our thighs
or our stomach
or our arms

we didn’t voluntarily decide to memorize pages of nutrition facts because it was ‘fun’ or because we were ‘bored’

things didn’t go from 0 to 10
or 10 to 0
it was more of a 1, 2, 3, 6, 4, 3, 2, 7, 8, 10 kind of thing

true self hatred cannot be taught
we didn’t beat this into ourselves
for you cannot teach instantaneous crying upon seeing a numerical change of .2 ounces on a scale
you cannot teach self hatred in the amounts that we possess

― self-hate (via incipient-life)

(Source: reinventingmysoul)

5:11 am  •  1 October 2014  •  202 notes
Maybe I’m scared to love, because when I love, it is never returned. Maybe I’m scared to trust, because I’ve never been put first. I’m always the one being left behind; the one who’s forced to feel it all during the night.
B. Desvarieux © (via thedesvarieuxjournals)
5:07 am  •  1 October 2014  •  6,057 notes
Is it just a bad night or am I getting bad again?
― I ask myself this all the time (via suspend)
8:47 pm  •  30 September 2014  •  216,002 notes

“maybe if i drink another coffee, i will feel better”

“maybe if i buy myself a new sweater, i will feel better”

“maybe if i get so drunk i can’t see, i will feel better”

“maybe if i sleep for fourteen hours, i will feel better”

(Source: ptysis)

8:46 pm  •  30 September 2014  •  383,401 notes

pishposhspice:

my roommate is 2 days younger than me so i’ve gotten into the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 2 days ago

8:42 pm  •  30 September 2014  •  14,968 notes